My thinking began to shift on my first trip to India in 2012.

The immersion in Indian culture inspired me to question many of my foundational beliefs, including, ”Why am I afraid of rice?” and “Why am I willing to starve myself in the absence of what I consider to be ‘acceptable’ or ‘clean’ food?”

It was the tools and teaching of yoga, along with my love of biology and science, that lead me to the beliefs that inform living in my body today. Also, a network of teachers, coaches, friends, and nutrition professionals supported the deep and honest work of shifting my search for guidance from outside myself to inside myself.

Yoga teaches us to question the beliefs that feel like truth and leads us to trust ourselves.

After years of recovery, now I understand that the beliefs I had about my body and food were a way to practice the perfectionism that ruled my entire life. I believed I could control my body’s size, shape, and state of health (and thus, life itself) far more than I actually could.

When I wasn’t actively engaged in eating disorder behavior, it resulted in my body changing size, which I interpreted as failure and loss of control. The eating disorder would lure me back into restriction and over-exercising that was often packaged as “healthy lifestyle changes.”

The work of body acceptance and helping people heal from diet culture is near and dear to me. I’m a HAES (Health at Every Size) practitioner, which means I’m neutral about what you eat and I will never pathologize your body.